Mediation is an efficient and cost effective way to resolve a dispute. It gives people a forum for constructive discussion, and an alternative to a trial or arbitration, where a judge or arbitrator imposes the outcome. At trial there is often a winner and a loser. In mediation, the parties keep the final decision making power, and control over both the process and the result.
Mediation gives separating couples a more affordable and peaceful way to separate, without damaging dignity or children.
Stephen facilitates. He helps people communicate with respect and stay productive. He keeps the process safe and confidential. Disputes are often layered. A good mediator listens for what is not being said and reframes positions so shared interests (the ones conflict hides) can surface.
The demand for mediation has grown. Courts in Ontario often suggest or order parents to use mediation to resolve parenting issues. Mediation cannot solve every case. It is successful in most.
The process
Once both people are willing to mediate, Stephen meets each person individually before the first joint session. He explains the process, hears each perspective, begins to identify possible resolutions, and considers whether mediation is appropriate and whether safeguards are needed to address power imbalances.
At the first joint session, ground rules for communication are set, issues are identified, and options are explored. Stephen can integrate the children’s views, wishes, and preferences into the mediation when he thinks that will help the matter move forward.
The number of sessions depends on the family. People sometimes want legal advice about the implications of their choices, or need to gather information that narrows the issues.
If you reach agreement
Stephen drafts a memorandum of agreement and reviews it with the parties. People are encouraged to seek independent legal advice during the process. Their lawyers turn the memorandum into a legally binding separation agreement.
If positions are stuck, Stephen may carefully point out the alternatives. A case that leaves mediation often carries risk. A judge’s decision may be one in which neither person gets what they wanted. It is rare for one party to get everything. Compromises are the rule. Seeing that clearly often keeps people at the table.
The cost of mediation is shared between the parties.
Finances as well as parenting
Stephen offers financial mediation in collaboration with a financial divorce specialist, who can assist with division of assets, finances, or child support.